Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Half Full vs Half Empty...The Epic Battle

After this last weekend, I am drained. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday I yo-yo'd between extreme ends of 'glass is half-full' vs. 'glass is half-empty' frame of mind. In other words, I hit the metaphysical wall and completely stalled out.

Most of the time writing this book is so easy. The writing just seems to flow out of me like water. The ideas just seem to be sitting there waiting on me to let my guard down so they can flood my mind with all the possibilities.

The last four days were different. I experienced an epic battle between knowing I can do this and feeling like I am delusional for daring to think that I even have a fraction of the talent needed to write a project like mine. I felt bruised and beaten.

Every time I would sit in front of my computer to write, my head would begin pounding. I tried to force the words for three days. Negative thoughts flooded my mind. I felt depressed. I had no idea where to go with the scene I was supposed to write.

My world wanted to come crashing down. Negativity cut me to ribbons with its razor sharp sword, doubt. My glass was definitely half-empty. I wallowed in my own self-pity. Then the thought, "Maybe I should quit" floated through my mind and something in me rose up like a tsunami of rage.
I lifted my metaphysical sword and attacked. I AM NO QUITTER! I parried and thrust my way past doubt. I shredded negativity.

I reached out for support from my writing buddy and good friend, Erin.

Why had I not done this sooner? I have no idea. However, if it happens again, which I am sure it will, I will make sure to reach out sooner. Not only did she understand, but she suggested a solution to my problem. That terrible wall on which I had run up against could be scaled!

So today, I am armed with dagger in one hand and sword in the other. The 'glass half-empty' side has lost this battle. My world is safe...for now.

After all...the glass is ALWAYS full, isn't it!

Thanks Erin York! You're the best!

No comments: